Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am?”
Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”
Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”
Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”
Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”
Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”
Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”
Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”
Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”
Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”
Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”
Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”

Before jerking off : i would literally suck 6 dicks rn
After jerking off : men are gross

geminiio:

i need ferguson to go down in history books. i need school children in the year 2074 to learn about michael brown being shot on august 9th, 2014 by officer darren wilson. i need this to spark a movement. this can not lose the focus of society a mere month after it happened. 

(via littlelotte-xo)

vanillish:

writing deep things on your cigarettes like “die young” or “why did they change aunt vivian halfway through fresh prince of bel air like did they think no one would notice”

(via maryyannneeee)

Anonymous: My friend is doing Nursing, and sent me a photo of her textbook. It says that a vegan diet is very unhealthy and is low in Iron, protein, and healthy fats. It also said that vegans are at higher risk of constipation, Menstrual problems, mental illness, neurological problems, and eating disorders. I worry for the future Nurses.

adviceforvegans:

Wow, me too. That is completely messed up! Makes me never want to go into hospital again. 

vegtble:

assqueen:

SHIT I LUV THIS

thx assqueen

orlandobloomers:

me: stop being racist please

family:  listen… liberal hippie trash ….u dont know anything abotu the world….

(via goldenspine)

filthy-hippie-vibes:

congenitaldisease:

Daniele Watts, an African-American actress who has starred in Hollywood films such as Django Unchained, was “handcuffed and detained” by Los Angeles police officers after being mistaken for a prostitute for kissing her white husband in public.

ARE. YOU. FUCKING. SERIOUS.
korvjl:


saturday feeling / september 2014